1. Happy FOURTH anniversary of Big Liberty Blog. Holy fucking shit, y’all. I’ve been liberated from that diet clusterfuck (not to impugn a perfectly good clusterfuck) for four whole goddamn years. Confetti!

2. I’m science fiction noveling. I’d tell you more, but then I’d have to kill you.

3. Is it my own disillusionment or is diet advertising getting more desperate and false-sounding? I still don’t think we’ve hit the peak of fat hate yet, which I predict will reach fever pitch when the baby boomers start developing the diseases of aging–cuz even though lovely ole Paula Deen got diabetes in her sixties it’s because of what she eats, donchaknow, not because most people will get diabetes as they age. Mythinformation and deviance-ology of teh fatz, it’s scienterrific!

4. A close friend of mine died, recently. Suicide. My dad made fun of her in a photo of mine on Facebook, once (heyo, awesome father with body image issues, hurrah!). Though I deleted his comment and reamed him off-line for what he said, I still feel like fucking shit because of it.

5. Speaking of my dad, my head’s going asplodey with his body image issues. He recently got divorced, and his go-to sore tooth in situations of emotional distress is his fat. He lost a fuckton of weight because of straight-up starvation due to depression — of course, his friends were all, “Hey, it’s the silver lining of divorce!” (what the fuckitty fuck?) Even worse, he and this other dude are doing this ad campaign for his realtor partnership. He photoshopped their heads on the bodies of two other guys, and then carved off half the body of the guy he shopped himself onto. He quite literally looks like a lollipop-man. Jeesofreakingcrimey.

6. We got a breadmaker. Why the fuck haven’t I been making my own fucking bread until now? It’s awesome. I’m in love.

That’s it, for now. See you all in a few weeks or months. Keep FA-ing.

<< Part Five

Invisiphilia: An Epic

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PART 6: HOLIDAYS

Christmas came, a riot of our
happy memories.
Brother got a camera, and I
got some new CDs.
Daddy got a diet, and I
got a diet too—

“Do it just like this and they will
want to look like you!
Talent gets you far but it can’t
win you true success;
Riches, friends, and fam’lies grow
the smaller your dress gets.
Don’t you want to see the sun stream
right between your thighs?”

…I didn’t, in particular.
But—

If I’m skinny, maybe he will
hear me when I sing;
If I’m skinny, maybe he will
want the love I bring;
If I’m skinny, maybe he won’t
leave before I’m grown—

I got skinny. Daddy moved down
south to his new home.

◊ ◊ ◊

<< Part Five

Early-Stage Alzheimer’s Could Make People Lose Weight

According to EurekAlert, scientists looked at 506 people ranging from those with no memory problems to those with full-blown Alzheimer’s. They found that people who had markers of Alzheimer’s called beta-amyloid plaques in their brains — even if they had no symptoms — had a lower BMI on average than those who had no markers. This means Alzheimer’s, even in its early stages, might be doing something to make people skinnier. Says study author Jeffrey M. Burns, “These results suggest Alzheimer’s disease brain changes are associated with systemic metabolic changes in the very earliest phases of the disease. This might be due to damage in the area of the brain called the hypothalamus that plays a role in regulating energy metabolism and food intake.”

So hey though, I’m sure you remember that study done not too long ago that concluded people with higher BMI were at greater risk for developing Alzheimer’s. Cuz yanno — fat causes ill health period. This is ignoring the fact that greater fatness is correlated with and may be causes by conditions that are known to be risk markers for development of dementia later in life (like insulin resistance, thyroid issues and diabetes). Again, we have the chicken-and-the-egg problem that plagues weight research: the assumption that weight always comes first, that it’s most always controllable, and that correlations having anything to do with higher BMI mean a prescription of weight loss.

Do you see the double standard in the above article? Thin people with a higher prevalence of Alzheimer’s means that Alzheimer’s causes thinness (and researchers are willing to do all that’s necessary to prove that particular conclusion, not to mention assume it from the outset without proof as such). But fat people with a higher prevalence of Alzheimer’s means that — wait for it — fat causes Alzheimer’s! And researchers (on the GlaxoSmithKline/Eli Lilly/Johnson&Johnson/etc dole) will do anything they can to prove that particular conclusion, not to mention assume it from the outset without proof as such.

Part Six >>

<< Part Four

Invisiphilia: An Epic

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PART 5: SELF

Not until you’re thin as Amber,

lithe as Julia;

not until you’re Michelle-skinny,

graceful as Anna.

Not until that perfect ten,

that Nicole (she’s so hot).

Not until you’ve lost that ten, not

til you’re weightless (not).

◊ ◊ ◊

Part Six >>

<< Part Four

Thin people dress in fat suits not to validate the fat experience, but to mock and eliminate it. Really, I don’t think there’s any other reason. If they’re bad-intentioned, it’s to mock, if they’re good-intentioned, it’s to suggest costuming and playing at something is the same as being something, hence eliminating the true experience of fatness.

I mocked its promised 11% weight loss (in the short term, since that shit gives you kidney lesions and can’t be taken long term) and brought up the 40% – 80% hereditary nature of body weight (which I got by scouring Google Scholar one weekend. I suggest you try it, it’s fascinating. Turns out I was underestimating – it’s more like 65% – 85% (see here and here)).

The response? I was asked how I ‘knew’ that my body weight was genetic. Did I get a genetic test done or something? Really. The commenter really wanted to know, guys, honest.

I asked how the commenter ‘knew’ their eye color, nose shape, and height were genetic. Did they get a test done? Really. I wanted to know.

The point of this is that body weight is highly heritable, as heritable as height, and so on. We know this. We’ve known this for nigh on fifty years now. It’s not even a little in question. But this obesity moral panic is so advanced, so strong, has so penetrated popular culture with its toxic propaganda and lies, that people find the generally genetic nature of body weight so unbelievable they demand our fatty ‘papers’ before we’re allowed to say our body weight is genetic.

If this isn’t proof enough that size discrimination and fat loathing has nothing to do with facts or science, I don’t know what is.

<< Part Three

Part Five >>

Invisiphilia: An Epic

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PART 4: CAMP

I wonder what the other kids

are doing on their break—

Learning to count calories, shun

pasta, meat, and cake?

Learning how to deal with hunger

(biting sharp like knives)?

Running laps until they vomit—

—running for their lives?

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<< Part Three

Part Five >>

<<Part Two

Part Four >>

Invisiphilia: An Epic

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PART THREE: SCHOOL

She is the fastest reader, and

her math is years ahead—

she sings, and plays, and draws, and writes;

lies dreaming on her bed.

But no one sees the little girl

as reader, writer, voice;

instead, the product of a vice,

and victim of a choice.

◊ ◊ ◊

<< Part Two

Part Four

<< Part One

Part Three >>

Invisiphilia: An Epic

◊ ◊ ◊

PART TWO: INFANCY

They never told the neighbors that

they cut your milk in half;

drawn colored dots up on the wall—

your hunger on a graph.

And when you screamed your emptiness

they shrugged and found the scale—

nope, still too heavy; so they placed

you in your crib to wail.

◊ ◊ ◊

<< Part One

Part Three >>

So here we go.

Part Two >>

Invisiphilia: An Epic

◊ ◊ ◊

PART ONE: CONCEPTION

A happy day, three weeks after

the night you were conceived.

But Doctor wasn’t too impressed

with what your Mom achieved.

“You shouldn’t gain an ounce,” he said.

“Perhaps, should lose a few!”

All told in order to prevent

the birth of a fat you.

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Part Two >>