But all it takes is one. And that’s what’s scary.

This week, a man was convicted of murdering two young women, and the attempted murder of another. There have been suggestions (I think from police sources) that he may have killed/raped/attempted to kill aronud 20 other women (mainly small, blonde teenagers) and he was extremely violent to at least one ex. It’s suspected that he might have killed a girl he was going out with when he was 12 and she was 14.

The thing is, in the small number of reports I could bring myself to read, there were at least two ‘friends’ of his who had testified that he would say extremely hateful things about women, but presumably they never acted on it, because I guess they thought it was ‘just talk’. He used to try to chat girls up and if they turned him down, he would go after them with a hammer. A fvcking hammer. This was KNOWN, I mean, I can understand you can’t really go to the police because someone is talking about violent impulses (well, you could, but they wouldn’t be able to do anything) but going after women with a weapon? Yeah, I think you can tell the police that and expect action.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/bully-with-a-deadly-hatred-for-blondes-787123.html

Trust me, plenty of fat people work in all areas of healthcare. I worked once for a fat pediatric ICU doctor who was brilliant. There are fat nurses everywhere. If there is demand for your skill set, the size of your ass will not matter. There are severe shortages in some places and they don’t care if you have five buttocks and ten heads — if they need you, they need you.

“A fat woman that is “happy with how they look” should be slapped and brought down to the level they are at: Dirt.”

Um, excuse me? This is the EPITOME of misogyny. Who in the HELL are you to force a woman to be attractive to YOU? This desperately makes me wish that anonymity were out the window, because I’m having some violent urges myself. Thank G-d I haven’t experienced anything particularly scarring or abusive since childhood. Shouldn’t it be scarier that the people who would have made fun of you for glasses or being ‘ugly’ as a kid would continue to do so, in very abusive ways, as an adult?

Chills. :-/

Lindsay, you hit the nail on the head. I also like the ‘for every one that speaks his/her mind, there are five hundred that are thinking it.’

vesta, the garbage thing scares me. It really does. When I was ten, I rode my bike 8 miles from my dad’s house to my mom’s house. On the way, I was taking this really tough hill in pretty hilly country. This hill would have taxed a pro. I had to walk up the last half of it; and since I was a chubby little girl, that apparently made me a target. A group of teenage boys drove past, the windows rolled down, screaming, “Fatty! Oink! Moo!” and so forth. I never forgot it. I didn’t even stop to think about how cool it was that I’d ridden all that way on my own. I could only think of the names they called me, how humiliated they made me feel.

anamericanaries, don’t lose weight for a job. How can the medical billing profession be adversely affected by being overweight, anyway? What, does the fat take over your brain and cause you not to bill people correctly? Give me an effing break. The one thing you *need* to do is stop standing for people telling you you need to change your body, and that you’re not good enough for a job, a career, happiness, a new swim suit, whatever, because of your weight. You know your body better than anyone. Do you really think that you’re pushing yourself beyond your natural setpoint range by binge eating disorder? If not, then you’re likely where your body wants you to be. 95%-98% of diets fail within five years, with 2/3rd’s failing within 2 years. I think you are who you are, and you need to accept it. And you need to stand up for yourself, and *stop taking shit from ignorant people, no matter how much you love and respect them*. It’s really hard, but it’s for your, and everyone else’s good. You get to live, and they have their ignorance eradicated. Win-win! Cheers, good luck, sweetie.

Now, back to the topic at hand: yes, if anyone doubts there is very real hatred out there for fat people (and totally out of proportion to the measure of our supposed ‘offense,’ to think in bigot’s terms for a moment), this is a reality-check. And I like Lindsay’s point about the disinhibition effect of anonymity. I wonder how many people actually feel this way, but at least some bare net of decency holds them back. Those are the people we might have a chance of reaching.

That said, I have to try very hard not to focus on this type of stuff, because it is utterly overwhelming and depressing. You can get to the point where you are convinced that the hatred is surrounding you, that you’re swimming in it and breathing it, even if you’re not actively experiencing it — and that can be paralyzing. It takes a hell of a lot of courage and fortitude to be aware of all this bullshit and still step out the front door every day. (Kind of like Patsy in the play “Little Murders.”)

And I have to keep telling myself that I didn’t get the job (I’ve been unemployed for a few months now) because I was fat. But deep down, I know that’s not true. My mom was raving to me that losing weight will be the BEST decision for my future – I’m studying medical billing, and it is assumed that fat people shouldn’t work in the medical field for the simple fact that we hold extra weight.

I’m terribly conflicted.