What this fat girl’s been up to

I don’t know about you, but the winter’s a hard time for me. First, the holidays (stress and body-shaming, ack!) then January (stress and body-shaming, ack!) then February (stress and why-won’t-this-winter-end-already, ack!). I tend to go into a kind of web hibernation this time of year–I don’t blog nearly as much, not here or on my writer blog. I’d say it was for survival, but it’s probably a little bit cowardice, too. Regardless, I wanted to pop my head in to say:

1. Happy FOURTH anniversary of Big Liberty Blog. Holy fucking shit, y’all. I’ve been liberated from that diet clusterfuck (not to impugn a perfectly good clusterfuck) for four whole goddamn years. Confetti!

2. I’m science fiction noveling. I’d tell you more, but then I’d have to kill you.

3. Is it my own disillusionment or is diet advertising getting more desperate and false-sounding? I still don’t think we’ve hit the peak of fat hate yet, which I predict will reach fever pitch when the baby boomers start developing the diseases of aging–cuz even though lovely ole Paula Deen got diabetes in her sixties it’s because of what she eats, donchaknow, not because most people will get diabetes as they age. Mythinformation and deviance-ology of teh fatz, it’s scienterrific!

4. A close friend of mine died, recently. Suicide. My dad made fun of her in a photo of mine on Facebook, once (heyo, awesome father with body image issues, hurrah!). Though I deleted his comment and reamed him off-line for what he said, I still feel like fucking shit because of it.

5. Speaking of my dad, my head’s going asplodey with his body image issues. He recently got divorced, and his go-to sore tooth in situations of emotional distress is his fat. He lost a fuckton of weight because of straight-up starvation due to depression — of course, his friends were all, “Hey, it’s the silver lining of divorce!” (what the fuckitty fuck?) Even worse, he and this other dude are doing this ad campaign for his realtor partnership. He photoshopped their heads on the bodies of two other guys, and then carved off half the body of the guy he shopped himself onto. He quite literally looks like a lollipop-man. Jeesofreakingcrimey.

6. We got a breadmaker. Why the fuck haven’t I been making my own fucking bread until now? It’s awesome. I’m in love.

That’s it, for now. See you all in a few weeks or months. Keep FA-ing.

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by bigliberty on January 21, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in My Story

Posted by bigliberty on January 21, 2012

http://biglibertyblog.com/2012/01/21/what-this-fat-girls-been-up-to/

Invisiphilia, Part Six – Holidays

This is the sixth installment of my poem in several parts, “Invisiphilia: An Epic.” For an introduction to the piece, please read Part One.

<< Part Five

Invisiphilia: An Epic

◊ ◊ ◊

PART 6: HOLIDAYS

Christmas came, a riot of our
happy memories.
Brother got a camera, and I
got some new CDs.
Daddy got a diet, and I
got a diet too—

“Do it just like this and they will
want to look like you!
Talent gets you far but it can’t
win you true success;
Riches, friends, and fam’lies grow
the smaller your dress gets.
Don’t you want to see the sun stream
right between your thighs?”

…I didn’t, in particular.
But—

If I’m skinny, maybe he will
hear me when I sing;
If I’m skinny, maybe he will
want the love I bring;
If I’m skinny, maybe he won’t
leave before I’m grown—

I got skinny. Daddy moved down
south to his new home.

◊ ◊ ◊

<< Part Five

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by bigliberty on December 7, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Invisiphilia, Poetry

Posted by bigliberty on December 7, 2011

http://biglibertyblog.com/2011/12/07/invisiphilia-part-six-holidays/

Fat Double Standards

Really quickly — because I’m actually supposed to be writing my novel right now — here’s a hilarious addition to the double standards in weight reporting.

Early-Stage Alzheimer’s Could Make People Lose Weight

According to EurekAlert, scientists looked at 506 people ranging from those with no memory problems to those with full-blown Alzheimer’s. They found that people who had markers of Alzheimer’s called beta-amyloid plaques in their brains — even if they had no symptoms — had a lower BMI on average than those who had no markers. This means Alzheimer’s, even in its early stages, might be doing something to make people skinnier. Says study author Jeffrey M. Burns, “These results suggest Alzheimer’s disease brain changes are associated with systemic metabolic changes in the very earliest phases of the disease. This might be due to damage in the area of the brain called the hypothalamus that plays a role in regulating energy metabolism and food intake.”

So hey though, I’m sure you remember that study done not too long ago that concluded people with higher BMI were at greater risk for developing Alzheimer’s. Cuz yanno — fat causes ill health period. This is ignoring the fact that greater fatness is correlated with and may be causes by conditions that are known to be risk markers for development of dementia later in life (like insulin resistance, thyroid issues and diabetes). Again, we have the chicken-and-the-egg problem that plagues weight research: the assumption that weight always comes first, that it’s most always controllable, and that correlations having anything to do with higher BMI mean a prescription of weight loss.

Do you see the double standard in the above article? Thin people with a higher prevalence of Alzheimer’s means that Alzheimer’s causes thinness (and researchers are willing to do all that’s necessary to prove that particular conclusion, not to mention assume it from the outset without proof as such). But fat people with a higher prevalence of Alzheimer’s means that — wait for it — fat causes Alzheimer’s! And researchers (on the GlaxoSmithKline/Eli Lilly/Johnson&Johnson/etc dole) will do anything they can to prove that particular conclusion, not to mention assume it from the outset without proof as such.

3 Comments
by bigliberty on November 23, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Mainstream Media, News, Obesity Epidemic, Science of Size

Posted by bigliberty on November 23, 2011

http://biglibertyblog.com/2011/11/23/fat-double-standards/

Invisiphilia, Part Five – Self

This is the fifth installment of my poem in several parts, “Invisiphilia: An Epic.” For an introduction to the piece, please read Part One.

Part Six >>

<< Part Four

Invisiphilia: An Epic

◊ ◊ ◊

PART 5: SELF

Not until you’re thin as Amber,

lithe as Julia;

not until you’re Michelle-skinny,

graceful as Anna.

Not until that perfect ten,

that Nicole (she’s so hot).

Not until you’ve lost that ten, not

til you’re weightless (not).

◊ ◊ ◊

Part Six >>

<< Part Four

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by bigliberty on November 16, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Invisiphilia, Poetry

Posted by bigliberty on November 16, 2011

http://biglibertyblog.com/2011/11/16/invisiphilia-part-five-self/

Quick Hit: Fat People Can’t Be Trusted

If you haven’t seen this video yet, WATCH IT NOW. Really. It’s awesome, I swear.

Thin people dress in fat suits not to validate the fat experience, but to mock and eliminate it. Really, I don’t think there’s any other reason. If they’re bad-intentioned, it’s to mock, if they’re good-intentioned, it’s to suggest costuming and playing at something is the same as being something, hence eliminating the true experience of fatness.

4 Comments
by bigliberty on November 15, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Videos

Posted by bigliberty on November 15, 2011

http://biglibertyblog.com/2011/11/15/quick-hit-fat-people-cant-be-trusted/

Show Your Fatty Papers

Recently I got mud on my boots in a popular feminist news blog. The topic was a new weight loss drug, and far be it for me to leave that shit alone.

I mocked its promised 11% weight loss (in the short term, since that shit gives you kidney lesions and can’t be taken long term) and brought up the 40% – 80% hereditary nature of body weight (which I got by scouring Google Scholar one weekend. I suggest you try it, it’s fascinating. Turns out I was underestimating – it’s more like 65% – 85% (see here and here)).

The response? I was asked how I ‘knew’ that my body weight was genetic. Did I get a genetic test done or something? Really. The commenter really wanted to know, guys, honest.

I asked how the commenter ‘knew’ their eye color, nose shape, and height were genetic. Did they get a test done? Really. I wanted to know.

The point of this is that body weight is highly heritable, as heritable as height, and so on. We know this. We’ve known this for nigh on fifty years now. It’s not even a little in question. But this obesity moral panic is so advanced, so strong, has so penetrated popular culture with its toxic propaganda and lies, that people find the generally genetic nature of body weight so unbelievable they demand our fatty ‘papers’ before we’re allowed to say our body weight is genetic.

If this isn’t proof enough that size discrimination and fat loathing has nothing to do with facts or science, I don’t know what is.

9 Comments
by bigliberty on November 12, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Fat is Genetic, News, Obesity Epidemic, Science of Size, The WTF Files, War on Obesity

Posted by bigliberty on November 12, 2011

http://biglibertyblog.com/2011/11/12/show-your-fatty-papers/

Invisiphilia: Part Four – Camp

This is the fourth installment of my poem in several parts, “Invisiphilia: An Epic.” For an introduction to the piece, please read Part One.

<< Part Three

Part Five >>

Invisiphilia: An Epic

◊ ◊ ◊

PART 4: CAMP

I wonder what the other kids

are doing on their break—

Learning to count calories, shun

pasta, meat, and cake?

Learning how to deal with hunger

(biting sharp like knives)?

Running laps until they vomit—

—running for their lives?

◊ ◊ ◊

<< Part Three

Part Five >>

4 Comments
by bigliberty on November 9, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Body Engineering Children, Invisiphilia

Posted by bigliberty on November 9, 2011

http://biglibertyblog.com/2011/11/09/invisiphilia-part-four-camp/

Invisiphilia: Part Three – School

This is the third installment of my poem in several parts, “Invisiphilia: An Epic.” For an introduction to the piece, please read Part One.

<<Part Two

Part Four >>

Invisiphilia: An Epic

◊ ◊ ◊

PART THREE: SCHOOL

She is the fastest reader, and

her math is years ahead—

she sings, and plays, and draws, and writes;

lies dreaming on her bed.

But no one sees the little girl

as reader, writer, voice;

instead, the product of a vice,

and victim of a choice.

◊ ◊ ◊

<< Part Two

Part Four

1 Comment
by bigliberty on October 29, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Fat Acceptance, Invisiphilia, Poetry

Posted by bigliberty on October 29, 2011

http://biglibertyblog.com/2011/10/29/invisiphilia-part-three-school/

Invisiphilia: Part Two – Infancy

This is the second installment of my poem in several parts, “Invisiphilia: An Epic.” For an introduction to the piece, please read Part One.

<< Part One

Part Three >>

Invisiphilia: An Epic

◊ ◊ ◊

PART TWO: INFANCY

They never told the neighbors that

they cut your milk in half;

drawn colored dots up on the wall—

your hunger on a graph.

And when you screamed your emptiness

they shrugged and found the scale—

nope, still too heavy; so they placed

you in your crib to wail.

◊ ◊ ◊

<< Part One

Part Three >>

1 Comment
by bigliberty on October 29, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Fat Acceptance, Invisiphilia, Poetry

Posted by bigliberty on October 29, 2011

http://biglibertyblog.com/2011/10/29/invisiphilia-part-two-infancy/

Invisiphilia: Introduction, and Part One

Hi folks. Many of you know I’m a fiction writer and poet, but I haven’t posted much of either on this blog. However, I’ve been picking away at poem in several parts called “Invisiphilia: An Epic.” After sitting on the first few parts for a long time, I decided there’s no better way to get this moving than post one or two parts a week. They’re reasonably short, and some are shorter than others.

So here we go.

Part Two >>

Invisiphilia: An Epic

◊ ◊ ◊

PART ONE: CONCEPTION

A happy day, three weeks after

the night you were conceived.

But Doctor wasn’t too impressed

with what your Mom achieved.

“You shouldn’t gain an ounce,” he said.

“Perhaps, should lose a few!”

All told in order to prevent

the birth of a fat you.

◊ ◊ ◊

Part Two >>

2 Comments
by bigliberty on October 23, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Fat Acceptance, Invisiphilia, Poetry

Posted by bigliberty on October 23, 2011

http://biglibertyblog.com/2011/10/23/invisiphilia-introduction-and-part-one/

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